Except they’re not.

They all take something that’s ‘obvious’ and turn it on its head. They’re about coming at something from a different angle, and solving a problem creatively.

It’s three whole years since I highlighted a funny, compassionate and [...]]]> Getting creative, sending out signals and finding the perfect name

Three unrelated themes this time.

Except they’re not.

They all take something that’s ‘obvious’ and turn it on its head. They’re about coming at something from a different angle, and solving a problem creatively.

1. Brick in the wall

It’s three whole years since I highlighted a funny, compassionate and intelligent presentation by Sir Ken Robinson at TED entitled Do schools kill creativity?

It appealed to my inner rebel – and my outer one too.

And I wasn’t alone. His landmark talk was downloaded over 4 million times, striking a chord with a global audience.

And now he’s back.

His 2010 talk – Bring on the learning revolution! – will make you stop and think about how best to find your niche. His central idea, that ‘education dislocates people from their natural talents’, is a powerful and persuasive one.

He also talks about the ‘tyranny of common sense’, something we hear every day in the business world (‘we’ve always done it that way!’). And why education shouldn’t be linear (because life isn’t).

It’s all there – from Eric Clapton to fast food, from dreaming about being a fireman to why nobody under 25 wears a wristwatch (do you?).

Enjoy.

[If you're reading in email, click here to see the talk on TED.com]

2. Tomayto, tomahto

What’s your company’s tone of voice?

And before you say business-like or professional, think about who you like to do business with. Businesses or people? Faceless and anonymous, or personal and friendly?

Would you like to do business with your company?

I thought about tone of voice again this week when I re-read a blog post from the Wise Old Man of Marketing, Seth Godin.

What sort of accent do you have? starts with the obvious (accent) and extends the idea.

Writing, he says, has an accent. And actions have grammar.

He’s right. Everything we say, everything we do, every interaction we have with people sends out a subtle message.

Don’t know the difference between principle and principal? (Find out.) Think you are sounds more professional than you’re? (Think again.) Don’t have an address on your website? (Include one.) Don’t make it obvious what your prospect should do next? (Change that.) Like to include ‘takes up to 28 days’ to make sure you’re covered on delivery lead times? (Nothing takes a month.)

Everything sends out a signal, whether we like it or not.

So what signals are you sending out?

3. It’s all in a name

Can’t think of a name for your business? Tell me about it.

Actually, don’t. Instead, jump on over to Wordoid.com. And you’ll have a new business name in next to no time.

The idea is simple – you suggest a word to use as the basis (e.g. tech, shop, idea, high, first, micro) and it’ll create a new word for you.

You can choose to put your word at the beginning, middle or end of the new word. And you can choose to make it sound natural, almost natural or (bizarre, but actually kind of funky) hardly natural.

It even checks whether the .com and .net domains are available for the new word. And best of all, it’s free.

Could naming your business get any easier?

Thought not. So what are you waiting for?

Find out more:

• Do schools kill creativity? Sir Ken Robinson’s original 2006 talk.

It’s my occasional series on copy that’s caught my eye and addled my brain, captured with my trusty Nokia (still in my Top 40, by the way).

First up is [...]]]> …and when is a quote not a quote?

It’s been a while since I let pictures take the place of words, so here we go again with Copycam.

It’s my occasional series on copy that’s caught my eye and addled my brain, captured with my trusty Nokia (still in my Top 40, by the way).

First up is this, which I saw at Marks & Spencer:

Found the mistake? Or should I say mistakes?

First the glaring one: the apostrophe.

It’s such a tiny little thing, but it causes endless confusion. The general rule is that it’s before the s if the word is singular, but after the s if it’s plural. So that gives us:

• The boy’s coat.
• The boys’ coats.

So far so good. The trouble arises when that boy grows up to become a man and is looking for something to wear in the evening.

Irregular plurals are treated just like the singular. So you get:

• The man’s coat.
• The men’s coats.

So hats off (evening hats, of course) to M&S for effort. They got the general rule right, but in this specific instance, it’s wrong. And what’s more, wrong in 600 stores up and down the land. Oops.

Still, at least they tried. Unlike Sainsbury’s, who opted for the maxim if in doubt, leave it out. This time, we’re talking 500 stores throughout the UK.

It’s only an apostrophe, you might say. Does it really matter?

Well yes and no.

The meaning is clear, but the mistake still niggles. Small things suggest bigger things: if organisations don’t care about apostrophes, what else flies under their radar?

It may not even be a conscious thought, but it affects people’s perceptions. And somebody somewhere will notice (especially here in Cambridge, where every other person you bump into has a PhD.)

It’s an image thing. It’s a brand thing. It’s an attention-to-detail thing.

And it’s something that’s worth getting right.

Speaking of which, what else is wrong with the M&S example? Well first, eveningwear isn’t one word – it’s two. Whoever wrote it was thrown off-track by menswear, which (a) is one word and (b) doesn’t have an apostrophe.

And the last thing that’s wrong isn’t related to grammar, spelling or punctuation. It’s the small print, which reads:

* Applies to products with mens’ eveningwear stickers only. Excludes cufflinks. Savings are applied to total price when items are purchased individually. Items in this promotion cannot be refunded or exchanged individually. All items must be refunded or exchanged together in order for a refund or exchange to be processed although you may be entitled to a refund on individual items in accordance with your legal rights.

Come again? Here’s what I got from this mumbo jumbo:

• You have to buy these items individually to qualify.
• But if you do, you can’t refund/exchange them.
• Even if you don’t qualify for a refund/exchange, you probably do under law.

Oh dear. I feel a little bit grubby after reading that. I think I’ll head for the gents (note: no apostrophe) to freshen up.

Don’t quote me on that

If apostrophes bamboozle us, then quotation marks (also known as inverted commas) are double trouble. And recently, they’ve been proliferating.

Again, the rule is simple. Quotation marks go around something that somebody actually said. It’s a quote (the clue’s in the name).

Here’s an example:

“Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.”

And another:

“I’m going to say this again: I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”

Easy, isn’t it?

And yet quotation marks are everywhere these days, often with entirely unintended consequences.

A couple of weeks ago, I saw this in the window of a shop in Cambridge:

Really? Who said that?

The answer, of course, is nobody. The quotation marks are being used for emphasis – which is not what they’re intended for. For emphasis, we have bold, underline, italic or a combination of all three. Plus CAPITALS, colours and fonts.

There’s no shortage of choice. Go ahead – knock yourself out. But save quotation marks for quotes.

It could have been worse.

Quotation marks are often used with sniper-like precision to home in on one particular word or phrase, which immediately makes you think of the opposite.

Now “open”!

So it’s not really open? It’s a joke? The door sticks? It’s not open when you think it is? It’s open but the entrance is elsewhere?

The possibilities are endless, but all undermine the intended meaning. And this insincere, does-it/doesn’t-it quote is everywhere nowadays. Somebody’s even set up a website called The Blog of Unnecessary Quotes.

Or to give it its proper title, The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotes. Hilarious examples include:

• We value “you” as our special patient
• “Deal” of the week
• “Wet” paint
• “Special” Mongolian beef $5.95
  

Check it out, and you’ll never, ever use quotation marks again without asking yourself whether you really need them. I “promise”.

The wheel of fortune

To add insult to injury, the bicycle shop was closed.

It was 3pm on a Thursday afternoon, but the lights were off and the door locked. I checked the opening hours, and they were indeed supposed to be open. But instead, they were “open” (i.e. closed).

Outside, several prospective customers peered into the gloom, saw the sign, and looked puzzled.

And went elsewhere, probably never to return.

Find out more:

• Say it like you mean it at The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotes.
• Possession obsession on the Apostrophe Abuse blog.
• Help is at hand: The Apostrophe Protection Society rides to the rescue.

OK, let’s jump on in.

Oh you thought there’d be a witty intro, a scene-setting anecdote, did you? You thought you could just sit back and enjoy the ride?

Well you can, in just a moment. But first, here’s a question for you:

What is a paragraph?

Give [...]]]> …or how to avoid mixing, dangling and losing control

OK, let’s jump on in.

Oh you thought there’d be a witty intro, a scene-setting anecdote, did you? You thought you could just sit back and enjoy the ride?

Well you can, in just a moment. But first, here’s a question for you:

What is a paragraph?

Give up? Well cast your mind back to your English class, and you’ll remember that each paragraph should have one idea. When you move on to a new idea, or a new angle on the same idea, then start a new paragraph.

It really is that simple.

(Paragraphs also allow you a little breathing space, as you can see.)

Now if a sentence is part of a paragraph, it too should have a purpose. And it does: it conveys part of the idea, and should have a focus all of its own. Pack too many elements into a sentence, and you’re heading for trouble.

Here’s an example from The Guardian newspaper:

Having been one of just 10 women MPs when first elected in 1982, at seven months pregnant, she has long been a critic of the gentlemen’s club culture, and while many of her colleagues are calling this crisis a catastrophe, to reformers it is also an unmistakable opportunity.

Feeling seasick yet? I certainly am.

This never-ending sentence is taken from an otherwise well-written profile of Harriet Harman, focusing on the MPs’ expenses scandal.

It’s a one-sentence paragraph, but look at how many ideas are in it:

• She was elected in 1982
• She was one of just 10 women MPs
• She was seven months pregnant
• She’s a critic of the gentlemen’s club culture
• Some of her colleagues are calling the crisis a catastrophe
• To reformers [is she one of them?] it’s an opportunity

This sentence is a bulging holdall, a ragbag collection of unrelated ideas. And yet it was written by a journalist with decades of experience.

Tip #1: don’t mix too many ideas in one paragraph, or in one sentence.

Say what you mean

Though the above sentence is long and winding, its meaning is still (just about) clear.

That isn’t always the case.

I know what I mean, you say to yourself, as you read back over a sentence you’ve just written. Sure, it’s not the most elegant sentence in the world, but then, you’re not looking for prizes – just to get your message across.

But it doesn’t matter if you know what you mean. Does your reader?

Last week, I came across the following sentence:

Interestingly, and perhaps in a sign that this is changing, Cruddas goes out of his way to praise James Purnell, who resigned on Thursday night with a spectacular call for Brown to do the same, both personally and intellectually.

I scratched my head. Aren’t all resignations personal? And how do you resign intellectually? I read it again. And again.

Then, in desperation, I read it aloud. And finally, I realised the meaning. It’s this:

Interestingly, and perhaps in a sign that this is changing, Cruddas goes out of his way to praise James Purnell, who resigned on Thursday night with a spectacular call for Brown to do the same, both personally and intellectually.

Tip #2: read everything you write out loud (but make sure you’re alone first).

It takes two to dangle

Have you ever received a letter or email that begins:

As a valued customer, we’d like to make you a very special offer.

Something feels wrong, doesn’t it? (I mean other than the ‘special’ offer, and the fact that you’re valued no more than the 100,000 other recipients.)

This problem revels in the delightful name of a (deep breath) dangling non-participial modifier.

In plain English, it means that the first part is unrelated to the second.

Who’s the valuable customer? You are. So the first word after the comma should be you. The corrected sentence looks something like this:

As a valued customer, you qualify for our great special offer.

Alternatively, you could rework the beginning, giving you:

As you’re a valued customer, we’d like to make you a very special offer.

See? That works better. Well the English does anyway – I’m not so sure about the offer.

But that’s another story.

Tip #3: if you begin a sentence with ‘as’, be on your guard. You might just be dangling (and it’s not a pretty sight).

As Lynn Truss pointed out in her book Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation, there are lots of apostrophes around – it’s just that most of them [...]]]> Though we can just about get our heads around commas, full stops and hyphens, it’s the apostrophe that trips us up more than any other element of punctuation.

As Lynn Truss pointed out in her book Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation, there are lots of apostrophes around – it’s just that most of them happen to be in the wrong place.

The humble apostrophe caused nationwide embarrassment for a major toothpaste brand in the UK in early 2005.

Can you spot the mistake? If you can’t, read on. And if you can, read on anyway.

One of the commonest mistakes is to use an apostrophe to indicate plurals. It’s called the greengrocer’s apostrophe, because it’s at the greengrocer’s that you’ll see them: apple’s, orange’s, pear’s, banana’s.

The Daily Telegraph, a UK newspaper, ran a story on this phenomenon a few years back, and managed to confuse even itself, referring to the greengrocer’s apostrophe and the greengrocers’ apostrophe in the same article.

The rule for plurals is straightforward: no apostrophe. Even plurals of initials (MP, PA, ID) generally don’t take apostrophes nowadays.

So when should you use apostrophes? Here’s a quick, no-nonsense guide:

Possessives

In the singular, an apostrophe is always placed before the s to indicate possession:

• the girl’s computer
• that man’s shirt
• Jane’s bicycle

In the plural, the apostrophe generally comes after the s:

• the boys’ CDs
• the members’ ID badges
• the performers’ instruments

The exception to this rule is irregular plurals (where s is not added to form the plural). In that case, the apostrophe once again comes before the s:

• the women’s applications
• the men’s rejections
• the children’s video games
• the oxen’s hooves

Singular words that end in an s have caused endless debate, but the generally accepted principle is that an apostrophe and another s are added:

• Jesus’s disciples
• Sibelius’s music

But the debate continues, and you’ll still see Jesus’ disciples and Sibelius’ music. As with MP’s and PA’s, it’s a grey area (or, if you’re in the US, a gray area).

Pay special attention to the possessive of the word it. Logically, it should be it’s, but English isn’t all that logical, so you use its:

• the council sacked its suppliers
• the choir took a bow, led by its director

Missing letter

Apostrophes are used to indicate a missing letter in a contraction (when words are joined together). So it is becomes it’s, they are becomes they’re, and I am becomes I’m.

Pretty simple, isn’t it? Yes and no. From those examples, you might think the apostrophe comes between the words. It doesn’t. Remember, it replaces the missing letter, so is not becomes isn’t (not is’nt) and does not becomes doesn’t (not does’nt).

And finally…

So where did Colgate go wrong? Whoever wrote the copy put an unnecessary apostrophe after theirs. Possessive pronouns (mine, yours, his, hers, ours, yours theirs) never take an apostrophe.

The writer was probably thinking about dentists’ teeth, and thought an apostrophe was needed somewhere.

As Lynn Truss says, there are lots of them around.