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The little word that makes a big difference
Want people to read what you write? Of course you do.
Then talk to them directly. You may not know their name, but they all have one thing in common: they’re all called ‘you’.
Recently, I saw this sign at a local supermarket. It stopped me in my tracks. I’ve probably seen thousands of fire-exit signs in my life, but I’ve never given them much attention.
Until now.
This one made me pull out my phone-that’s-really-a-camera and take a picture.
One day, I thought, it might be me trapped inside that burning building, scrambling to get past a woman with a trolley filled with Coke and thick-crust pizzas, and a man arguing about money-off coupons while thick, acrid smoke billowed around us.
You. It’s such an obvious tactic to use, that we often overlook it.
At my gym, there’s a list of 10 ‘rules and regulations’ (what’s the difference, exactly?).
One says: the male members shall wear a training top.
Quite apart from the unintended innuendo, there’s the imperious use of ‘shall’. I’m tempted to strip off just to see what happens.
The notice is signed (inevitably) ‘The Management’.
And here’s the thing: never once does it say you. So the tone is cold, distant, and bossy. I’m likely to make a note of the rules simply to remember to break them as often as possible.
If you want people to take notice, try these three things:
- Keep it simple.
- Be direct.
- Use ‘you’.
By order,
The Management
Think twice before you use a UFO – an unidentified foreign object
 Several years ago, a friend of a friend decided to give her sales literature a touch of class. And what could be classier than giving it a light sprinkling of French?
So that’s just what she did.
She had her web copy rewritten, as well as her brochure, case studies and virtually every other piece of marketing collateral she had.
And it certainly added something – though not quite what she expected.
She’d intended to say that her company was different, out of the ordinary - it had that little something extra that made her stand out from the crowd.
The phrase she needed was ready-made in French: je ne sais quoi. Literally, it means I don’t know what – that elusive quality that defies description, but gives you the edge.
Except that’s not what she wrote.
Throughout every piece of written communication she had, she wrote je ne sais pas – I don’t know, which creates an altogether different impression.
A faux pas if ever there was one.
So if you’re thinking of giving your copy a little foreign flavour, try following these three simple rules.
1. You have to to get it right
To see just how odd an incorrect foreign expression appears, all we have to do is look at some of the ‘English’ that foreign marketers use to give them that extra something.
- Some years ago, Coca-Cola cans in Japan carried the slogan I feel Coke & sound special. (No, don’t think about it – it doesn’t help.)
- How about a nice new suit from a men’s clothing store in Brussels called Big Nuts? Sounds like an offer you can refuse.
- If you’re roasting a turkey in France, make sure you cover it with tin foil. Or Alu-Fanny, it’s called the other side of the Channel.
Luckily, we don’t coin such toe-curlingly awful examples. But we do mangle perfectly good expressions with depressing regularity.
Just recently, I saw a perfume ad that talked about joie de vie (it should be joie de vivre). And on more than one occasion, I’ve seen ad nauseum (instead of ad nauseam) in otherwise excellent copy.
2. It can’t get in the way of comprehension
If you write about a per diem allowance, will you audience know that it’s daily?
If you write plus ça change, will your readers know the implication – or even the rest of the phrase? (In full, it’s plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose – the more things change, the more the stay the same.)
If not, maybe you should simply write nothing ever changes.
Just to be clear: it’s all about context.
These expressions would be perfectly acceptable if you were writing for a specialised audience. But in the mass market of copywriting, anything that gets in the way of understanding is a bad thing.
3. It must pass the overnight test
You write it. You’re pleased with it. You keep reading it and marvelling at your handiwork.
Now leave it overnight, and in the harsh, unforgiving light of a new day, see if you like it as much.
Thought not.
Say what you mean and you can’t go wrong
 Next time you’re having a shower, pick up the shampoo bottle and have a look at the ingredients.
If you’re anywhere in Europe, you’ll probably see aqua right at the top of the list.
If you can read the ingredients, that is – what with all that aqua pouring into your eyes as you squint at the plastic bottle.
That’s right. The main ingredient of your shampoo is water.
So why not just call it water?
Because Council Directive 93/35/EEC of 14 June 1993, together with Decision 96/335/EC, amended by Commission Decision 2006/257/EC (still awake?) says you can’t call water water.
You have to call it aqua. Milk isn’t milk, it’s lac. Beeswax is cera alba, and fish extract is pisces.
In an effort to make sure that everybody across the EU has a common language when it comes to cosmetic ingredients, the bureaucrats have ensured that nobody understands anything.
Unless they have a smattering of Latin, that is.
A rose by any other name
Have you got issues? It seems everybody has these days. Nobody has problems anymore. They all just magically disappeared, the day issues came on the scene.
Recently, I had a problem with an automatic payment to one of the giants of the online world. So I phoned their call centre.
What was the problem, I wondered? They told me that they had an issue with some direct debits. So the problem wasn’t on my side? No, the issue was on their side. And when would the problem be fixed? Well, they told me, we’re looking into the issue.
And in the meantime, I wondered, how could we get round the problem? Well we could deal with the issue by deleting the payment details and resubmitting them.
But wouldn’t I encounter the same problem? No, they said, it would almost certainly solve the issue.
It was like a staring match. But neither of us blinked.
It’s a spade. You know what to do.
The trouble with euphemisms is that they soon take on the stigma of the word they replace. So when people say issue, we hear problem. When they say challenge, we hear problem. When they say concern, we hear problem.
The solution? Call a spade a spade. And a problem a problem.
It’s reverse psychology that’ll give you the edge. If everbody else is trying to hide, disguise or massage the truth, and you just go ahead and say it, you’ll come out on top.
And that’s the best place to be.
Find out more:
… or why language has a sell-by date too
 Remember the first time you heard the phrase ‘think outside the box’? Or ‘blue-sky thinking’? Or ‘paradigm shift’?
Once, they were new and exotic. Like words in a foreign language, it was fun to try them out – to use them in emails, to put them in proposals, even to utter them nonchalantly in a meeting.
You could sit back and watch the smiles of recognition or frowns of puzzlement spread round the boardroom table, like ripples in a pond.
Freshly minted language makes us look at the world differently.
Sometimes, we just take an expression and put it in a new context. So athletes have a track record, but companies have an enviable track record. Cars that were self-starters no longer required a crank handle; neither do self-starter candidates, a recruiter’s dream.
Computers were able to handle more than one job at a time, and soon, multi-tasking became something people did too. Assuming, of course, they had the bandwidth.
Passion was once confined to the bedroom. Nowadays, you’re as likely to find it in the boardroom.
Sometimes, we tweak a familiar expression to give it a new twist. So a ‘gimme pig’ is someone who wants it all, and ‘state of the ark’ is hopelessly outdated.
And then, something changes. Coming from nowhere, these words are soon everywhere. They no longer have the stamp of exclusivity, the cachet or originality. Like a joke that everyone’s heard, they’re not funny anymore.
And that’s when to stop using them. But we don’t. And so our readers and listeners simply blank them out.
If you’re ‘passionate about technology’ or want to ‘drive results’ or are ‘committed’ to just about anything, it’s time to get out the red pen and start again.
Be new, be original and be different. And you’ll be noticed.
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