Copy Unlimited blog » niche market

It’s the customer, stupid

Kevin — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 06:00:23 +0000

It’s not about you – it’s about them. Don’t ever forget it.

A few months back, a pop-up popped up in Skype.

Would you like to win £1,000? it trilled. Of course I would. I was excited at the prospect – positively thrilled, in fact.

All I had to do, it explained, was complete an online survey that would help them improve the program. It would only take a few minutes.

I jumped at the chance.

Several long minutes later, I was losing heart. The questions were endless, and all began to resemble each other. I was answering on autopilot, ticking yes and no randomly, awarding 5 out of 10, or neutral when it came to agreeing or disagreeing – anything, as long as I could just get to the end of this damn thing.

You’re almost there! it gushed. Except I wasn’t. Another screenful of questions taunted me. That thousand quid was disappearing faster than a carrot on telescopic stick.

And finally, I snapped.

In a fit of pique, I closed the browser, brought my clenched fist down on my desk (ouch – don’t try this at home) and had a double espresso to calm down (ditto).

So what went wrong? Simple: Skype needed some info, so they found a cheap way to do it. They dangled the lure of £1,000 in front of me, and like a goggle-eyed fish, I bit.

But here’s where they went wrong: they thought it was about them.

It wasn’t. It was about me.

After a few dozen questions, I didn’t care about the money anymore. Easy money should be…well, easy. And it wasn’t.

It wasn’t even money – it was the chance to be entered into a draw. To win money. And even then, probably not money but Skype credit (no doubt to be used by a certain date).

Net result?

I didn’t win £1,000.
I didn’t even get a chance to win £1,000.
I wasted my time.
I felt more negative about Skype than before.
I resolved never to complete another survey.
(and worst of all) I felt used.

Not good.

Through the looking-glass

If you want to understand your customers, think like a customer. If you want to understand a reader, think like a reader.

Let’s take websites. Most have an About page. So what’s it about?

Wrong. It’s not about you (haven’t you been listening?).

It’s about them. Even when it’s about you. Everything you say – even when you’re talking about your company, your history, your people, your offices, your reputation, your fabulous dress sense and good looks – it’s about them.

What you say	What you really mean
We’ve been in business 20 years.	Relax. We know what we’re doing.
We have dedicated account managers.	You don’t need to repeat yourself to some witless moron every time you phone us.
We have a one-stop service.	You keep your costs down, you have less hassle, you can leave all the hair-pulling, desk-banging (ouch) details to us.
We pride ourselves on professionalism, service and [blah, blah, blah].	Yes – you did make the right choice. Now go to bed and stop worrying.

I Customer

Never write a word without thinking how it’ll be read. Never launch a marketing campaign without thinking how it’ll be received. And never call an offer special unless it’s just that – special.

With a bit of practice, it becomes second nature.

Some people, however, need more practice than others. Remember my Top 10? It included 3, the UK mobile phone operator. When I switched to them, they gave me £10 ($16, €11.50) free credit to be used within 30 days, just to thank me.

Wasn’t that nice?

Not really. You see, when I logged on on 3′s site, I saw that the credit had been ‘queued’. A little footnote told me that the credit would be used up in the order in which it was displayed.

And it was displayed in the last row of the table.

In other words, my free credit would be used only when my paid-for credit was gone. And if that didn’t happen in 30 days, the freebie would disappear.

Free? Schmee.

Don’t think like a marketer. Think like like a marketee. Don’t think like a writer. Think like a writee.

Aka reader.

Happy writing.

What’s in your Top 40?

Kevin — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 06:00:30 +0000

Recommendations, word of mouth and the stuff we love to talk about.

Since I read Dave Boulter’s Word of Mouth Manual Vol. II (see here) I’ve been thinking about recommendations.

Dave says that each of us has a Top 40 list of things that we’re just keen as a bean to recommend to our friends. And breaking into that list is a marketer’s idea of Nirvana (the place, not the band, you understand).

The trouble is, it’s constantly changing. We humans are fickle, and our attention spans are getting shorter by the day. So that Top 40 is built on shifting sands, buffeted by the winds of fad and fashion.

So what’s in my Top 40? I’ve spent some time thinking about this over the last few weeks, and have come up with the answer.

But don’t worry – it’s not 40. I can’t even think of 40 things without getting bored, distracted or frustrated.

So here’s my Top 10 – in no particular order.

Phone: Nokia N73. It’s small, easy to use, and has a 3.2 megapixel camera that takes great photos (Don’t believe me? Check out my personal photoblog).
Blogs: there are two I read regularly and wouldn’t be without. For great copywriting tips, check out Copyblogger. And for tell-it-like-it-is marketing know-how, try Seth Godin.
Business book: what do you mean, you haven’t read The Tipping Point? Malcolm Gladwell’s book launched a thousand me-toos, but the original is still the best.
Non-business book. Heading off on holiday? Make sure you take The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society with you. It’s a quirky and amusing book (with a tragic real-life story behind it).
RSS reader: for ages, I just couldn’t see the point of RSS readers. Yes, they aggregated feeds in one place – but you still had to remember to go to that one place. Then a friend recommended Newsgator Inbox, a nifty program that’s installed inside Outlook. Cue RSS heaven. (And it’s free, by the way.)
Mobile browser: for browser heaven on your phone, there’s nothing better than Opera Mini. It even synchronizes with the full version on your PC, so there’s no duplication. Pure bliss. (Make sure to check out the shortcuts on the Opera site – and the ones the forgot to document here.)
Mobile phone provider: sorry, but this is a UK-specific recommendation. 3 (at three.co.uk) are offering free SIM cards, with free texts, free Skype-to-Skype calls, and 150MB free internet usage. Not bad for £5 every three months.
Firefox add-on: if I could have just one add-on in Firefox, it would have to be the the wonderful FireGestures. It makes navigation a breeze, and if you’re a closet techie, you can even customise your own shortcuts.
Time-saving tip: learn to type – with all fingers, and without looking at the keyboard. It’s called touch-typing, and it’ll transform your life. (It did mine.)

So there we have it. My Top 10.

What do you mean it’s only nine? Oh yes. You’re right. Well number 10 was going to be this great little place deep in the heart of France.

It’s an old cottage by a lake, five minutes’ walk from a town untouched by modern life. The ancient bell of a Romanesque church counts off the hours as the locals go about their business in an unhurried way. Rolling hills stretch out under powder-blue skies as another long, lazy day begins.

Can you see it yet?

It’s the perfect place to unwind and relax. Totally undiscovered. And I want it to stay that way.

I’m sure you understand.

Are people buying what you’re selling?

Kevin — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 06:00:33 +0000

If not, change what you sell – or how you sell it.

My day started so well.

The summer sun poured through my office windows, and a steaming cup of coffee stood on my desk, its rich aroma teasing my tastebuds with anticipation.

Then the call came. A withheld number, which is never a good sign.

“Hello, Kevin,” said an unfamiliar voice. “Isn’t it a wonderful day?”

“Uh, yes,” I mumbled. “But more to the point, who the bloody hell are you?”

Actually, I didn’t.

Instead, I let him cast his line, safe in the knowledge that I wasn’t going to be hooked. As soon as he said the word ‘cricket’, I knew I was right.

You see, you’re either a cricket fan or you’re not. And I’m not.

Doug was from a corporate sports marketing company. And guess what? A box at Lord’s (The Home of Cricket – isn’t that a great tagline?) had just come free. Just think of the corporate entertaining I could do!

Except I couldn’t. And wouldn’t. And I told him so.

“Ah,” he said irrepressibly, “so not a cricket fan. What about football?”

No.

“Tennis?”

No.

“Rugby?”

No.

“Horse racing?”

No.

“Dogs?”

No. No. No.

Game over. Insert new coin.

Sometimes, you just have to face it: they’re not buying what you’re selling. And you can do one of two things.

You can either keep on trying, which means you’ll waste your time (and lose lots of other sales to more likely customers).

Or you can change what you’re selling. A bit like Virgin Mobile didn’t do when I spoke to them about their mobile-phone contracts.

“You don’t send texts?” said the incredulous customer sales person.

Yes, that’s right. Calls, yes. Texts, no. So could they give me more calling minutes in lieu of the hundreds of texts I’d never send? Couldn’t they make an exception?

“Um, I don’t think so,” she said, fishing around for a killer argument.

And then she found one.

“You see, if we made an exception for you, we’d have to make an exception for everybody, and give them what they wanted.”

Mentally, I moved my chess piece. Checkmate.

But I savoured my little moment, and let the silence drag on, until she could bear it no longer.

“You see my point, don’t you?” she pleaded.

I didn’t.

And the very next day, I changed my mobile operator – to one that let me take any mix I wanted of minutes and texts.

Lights, camera, action

Most companies think they know what their customers want. And they keep on hitting those little square pegs harder and harder, in the hope that they’ll one day go in.

Clever companies think like customers. And when people aren’t buying, they change what they’re selling, or how they sell it, until customers do buy.

Just like lovefilm.com did.

When I first checked, this DVD-rental website was just too expensive. I like films, but not enough to pay £15 a month (that’s $22.50 or €17.50).

So I didn’t bite.

But wait, it told me – I could have four discs at a time, and an unlimited number of films per month.

I still didn’t bite.

Then my local DVD store closed down, so I checked again.

Same deal. Same reaction.

And then last week, fearing becoming a social outcast (I hadn’t seen Slumdog Millionaire) I checked again.

And there, I saw a new package, aimed at ‘lite’ users, priced at just £4 ($6, €4.60) a month.

I bit.

So you see? If people aren’t buying, it’s because you’re not selling what they want. It’s not that they don’t like you. It’s not that your product doesn’t work or your service doesn’t deliver.

It’s simply that something, somewhere in the mix is wrong.

Get it right, and they’ll bite.

Find out more:

What do you mean you haven’t seen Slumdog Millionaire? Quick, hurry over to lovefilm.com.
Leg before wicket? It’s simply not cricket. Check out Lord’s Cricket Ground (tell Doug I sent you).

The power of personalisation

Kevin — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 06:00:36 +0000

Don’t talk to everybody. Talk to somebody.

I heard from my friend Dave last week. You know Dave, don’t you? Well you do if you live in the UK.

David Cameron – he of the silky voice, easy manner and impeccable credentials. The leader of the Conservative Party.

Dave to his friends. And I’m his friend – along with millions of others.

Let me explain.

Vote early and often

Here in the UK, it’s a week of elections. In England, local councillors are up for election to decide how they can spend more of my money on painting pointless lines and implementing ‘traffic calming’ measures.

And across the country – in fact, across the continent of Europe – it’s time to elect members of the European Parliament, that vast travelling circus that divides its time between Brussels and Strasbourg.

So needless to say, all the political parties are looking for support. But some are looking in the wrong places.

The Labour Party pushed a leaflet through my letter box. The Liberal Democrats did the same.

And so did the British National Party – in fact, their leaflet doubled up as a handy window poster (no thanks – I’d rather avoid the flying bricks and dark looks).

Tell me a (s)tory

But Dave took a different approach. He decided to do a mailshot.

Now the trouble with all mailshots is that they’re only as good as the database list you’ve got.

And database lists, as you probably know, have a very short shelf life. Which is why most mailshots have a less than stellar return.

But in this case, there’s a perfect list. One that’s up to date, accurate, and complete – and available free, gratis and for nothing.

It’s called the electoral register.

It’s a simple but brilliant idea:

It’s personalised. As you can see, I got my very own leaflet, addressed to me. It was the only piece of electioneering bumpf I kept (sad, I know).
It’s targeted. Everybody on the electoral register is eligible to vote, so it’s as targeted as it can be. Leaflet droppers hit everyone, registered or not.
It’s comprehensive. If there are three voters in the house, there are three leaflets – not one, unlike the droppers. So everybody gets one (and nobody wants to throw away somebody else’s mail).

And here’s the result:

See – that’s me.

Now here’s the thing. I know how they did it. I know why they did it. I know how easy it is to do. I know it’s a gimmick.

But it works. I get a warm, fuzzy feeling.

And that’s the power of personalisation.

So how are you getting personal with your customers? Are you selling lawn-mowers to people in apartment blocks? Are your prospects all called Sir or Madam? Or, worse still, Friend? And are you using the simple solutions that others don’t even see?

In short, are you leaflet dropping or doing a Dave?

I know which one gets my vote.

How to get yourself noticed

Kevin — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 06:00:47 +0000

You already know the answer. So what are you waiting for?

A couple of years ago, I decided to have my business cards revamped. There was nothing wrong with the old ones, but I still had 500 sitting in a box between my stress-reliever balls (don’t ask) and a pile of scrap paper.

I’d just grown tired of them, so it was time for a change.

And then I hit on a great idea: a business card with my photo on it. I’d never seen one before, and thought it would be a novelty.

And novelty gets noticed, I told myself. (In fact, I was so pleased with the phrase, I briefly contemplated putting an (R) after it.)

And so my new cards were born. Several shades of green, just enough Verdana to look classy, and lots of white space. Plus a not-so-bad mugshot of me.

The following Monday, I went to visit a new client. And I was all stocked up with a wodge of business cards. As I took my seat in their swanky offices, I extracted one and slid it across the table.

The client smiled. I’d obviously made an impression – but it wasn’t the one I thought.

He scooped up the card, peered at it and said, “Ah – another business card with a photo. Look, Andrea!” he said to his marketing manager, who was joining us. “Just like whatsisname – you know, the accountant guy.”

He turned to me, and smiled. “He’s such an idiot. And ugly too.”

First among equals

You’ve guessed it – the way to get noticed is to be different. But if you’re going to be different, you need to be first.

And that’s not always easy. I’ve written about bandwagons before. By the time you know they’re around, it’s already too late.

You need to think one step ahead. What would get you noticed right now? This very moment? What is nobody else doing?

And if you can’t work that one out, tackle the problem from the opposite point of view: what’s everybody doing?

Figure it out, then do something different. It’s really not that hard.

When websites are getting more and more complicated, with flying menus, in-your-face Flash animations and ads everywhere, think simplicity.

There’s a reason why Google’s home page is so bare. And why Craigslist, the 47th most-visited site in the world, is so plain. Encyclopedia Britannica has lots of stuff on the home page. That’s one of the reasons why Wikipedia doesn’t.

Plane crazy

When you last flew, did you take any notice of the safety demonstration by the cabin crew? Of course not – because you’ve heard it a hundred times. It’s boring.

A flight attendant on Southwest Airlines realised just that, so he delivered his talk with a twist: he rapped it.

Suddenly, he had people’s attention. One of them even videoed it and put it on Youtube. The Rapping Flight Attendant clocked up 100,000 views in next to no time.

Of course, if all flight attendants start rapping, then we’ve got a problem. But somehow I don’t think that’s on the cards.

I did it my way

Doing what everybody else is doing will never get you noticed. There are millions of blogs out there, so what makes yours different? Are you just aping somebody else’s style in the hope that you can garner some of their success?

You can’t. And for one simple reason: they were there first. So do something else instead.

Like Darren Rowse over at Problogger. He’s been putting videos on his blog every week for the last year, which is just one of the reasons he’s on my must-read must-view list.

So the message is simple: be different, be bold. But above all, be first.

Now I wonder if anybody is using rapping business cards? If they aren’t, then that may well be my path to success.

Or maybe not. I’ll have to give it some thought.