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The little word that makes a big difference

Want people to read what you write? Of course you do.
Then talk to them directly. You may not know their name, but they all have one thing in common: they’re all called ‘you’.
Recently, I saw this sign at a local supermarket. It stopped me in my tracks. I’ve probably seen thousands of fire-exit signs in my life, but I’ve never given them much attention.
Until now.
This one made me pull out my phone-that’s-really-a-camera and take a picture.
One day, I thought, it might be me trapped inside that burning building, scrambling to get past a woman with a trolley filled with Coke and thick-crust pizzas, and a man arguing about money-off coupons while thick, acrid smoke billowed around us.
You. It’s such an obvious tactic to use, that we often overlook it.
At my gym, there’s a list of 10 ‘rules and regulations’ (what’s the difference, exactly?).
One says: the male members shall wear a training top.
Quite apart from the unintended innuendo, there’s the imperious use of ‘shall’. I’m tempted to strip off just to see what happens.
The notice is signed (inevitably) ‘The Management’.
And here’s the thing: never once does it say you. So the tone is cold, distant, and bossy. I’m likely to make a note of the rules simply to remember to break them as often as possible.
If you want people to take notice, try these three things:
- Keep it simple.
- Be direct.
- Use ‘you’.
By order,
The Management
You’ll be surprised – and so will they
Just the other day, this leaflet dropped through the letter box. The local council is thinking about installing these gizmos at bus stops around the county.
So while you’re waiting in the rain with a dozen other bedraggled people, you can see that the number 52 is still 15 minutes away.
To help pass the time, you could press the yellow circle to get community information. Or catch up on the latest police notices, the leaflet tells me. How calming.
The important point here is that they’re asking me what I think before they launch the scheme.
Don’t keep it to yourself
It’s very tempting to wait until you’ve got every angle worked out before presenting an idea to your clients.
Why? Because if you don’t, maybe they’ll think you don’t know what you’re doing. Or worse, that you’re making it up as you go along.
But wait – you are making it up as you go along. With their input.
Many years ago, when I worked for a large software company, we launched a reseller incentive. If salespeople sold X, they got £Y.
But in our enthusiasm, we forgot to consult the resellers on the exact details. And it turned out that our incentive scheme clashed with their internal commission structure and the distributor incentive schemes.
It wasn’t a success.
So the next time round, we brought them all together and got their help to design a scheme that worked for everybody.
Open kimono
Involving clients in important decisions and getting their feedback on your future plans is a great way to make them feel valued. And it saves you the head-scratching frustration of wondering whether you’ve got it right.
But if you are going to ask, make sure you’re doing it for that right reasons – and that you’re approaching it with an open mind.
Somehow, I think the council has already made its mind up about the bus signs. The clue is on the reverse side, where the languge is relentlessly positive:
“Constantly striving to improve…brand-new…always current and up to date…wide variety…match all bus users’ needs…”
After all that, who would dare to tick the ‘No’ box?
Apart from me, that is.
Recently, this flyer landed on my mat. It’s for a local gym (I’ve removed their name to avoid embarrassment).

My first reaction? It’s a bit tasteless. But even worse, it’s probably likely to alienate half its readership. Don’t think so? You’re probably male. Imagine a tanned male bottom in a pair of tight briefs. Now would you feel as comfortable?
So I didn’t join, right? Yes and no.
You see, I was already a member. But If I’d got this back when I was looking for a gym, I’d have wondered if it was really the one for me.
It’s crucial when you’re writing to keep your audience in mind. It’s one of my Top 10 tips. Also, remember, it’s not about you, it’s about them (that’s another one of my tips).
What this ad is really trying to say is that you can get into great shape at the gym. So why now have somebody who’s smiling, happy and obviously healthy, looking straight at the viewer? Better still, why not have a man and a woman to cover all bases?
Whoever designed this probably thought:
- women would think they’d get a desirable bottom by working out at the gym
- men would would get to see lots of those desirable bottoms while they worked out
But it’s more likely that:
- women felt insulted and wondered if they’d really feel comfortable at the gym
- while some men felt attracted, others were deterred by the sexual overtones
Not forgetting gay men, who probably didn’t react at all to the picture.
So what were the gym marketing gurus thinking?
Easy. They saw a sexy picture with a tanned, svelte woman against an azure sky and thought it would say ‘get ready for summer’. Then, all they had to do was think up a really bad pun. And voilà, the mailshot was ready. They probably even joked about the campaign improving their bottom line.
Take it from someone who’s been there: if you find yourself smiling at the thought of how clever you’ve been, and want to pat yourself on the back, think again. The only smile that matters is the reader’s. If it doesn’t strike the right note for your audience, stop and go back to the drawing board.
You won’t regret it.
Why people sell products
Let’s play a word-association game.
BlackBerry. Quick – what comes to mind?
Stressed exec, working 18 hours a day, sitting up in bed, pecking at the keyboard to go long on pork bellies while his wife is propped up beside him, lost in the latest Penny Vincenzi?
Think again.
Olivia’s a funky fashion designer, who jets between Milan, London and New York. And Duncan is a millionaire tycoon and star of BBC2’s Dragons’ Den.
They’re the new face of BlackBerry, in a high-profile campaign called Blackberry People. So you’re not just buying a gizmo, you’re aspiring to a lifestyle. And you’re making a connection with other people.
It’s not about the technology – it’s never about the technology. It’s about what you can do with it, where you can go, and who you can become.
Just like Time Out’s property edition, personalising a message makes it more powerful.
So powerful, in fact, that a friend of mine was convinced he was a BlackBerry person. So he went out and got one. A few days later, I emailed him to ask how his new gadget was shaping up.
Not very well, apparently. He’d just missed a vital meeting.
“Al my appntsmenst were 1 day out,” he jabbed. “Dont knw hw that hapend.”
I think I do. Let’s play the word-association game again.
BlackBerry?
Manual.
- Are you a BlackBerry person? Find out at BlackBerry People: click here.
Why personalising copy makes it more powerful
Last week, as I browsed in Borders, my eye was caught by a magazine: Time Out – Property Special.
Time Out started as a London listings guide, but has now gone global, with weekly magazines from New York to Singapore, a must-consult travel site and a slew of funky guides.
And now, they’re listing properties. But it wasn’t the properties that attracted me – it was the people.
Meet the Owners, it promised.
And that was enough – I was hooked. I even found myself reading dreamily about a house in Hither Green, south London.
Now if you’ve ever been to Hither Green, you’ll probably have vowed never to return – unless you live there.
For me, there’s an added reason to dislike the place – I failed my first driving test there. And yet, leafing through Time Out, I almost found myself putting in an offer on Margaret’s pebble-dash semi.
Almost.
Do you mind if I just take a peek?
People are a powerful draw. Just look at our obsession with celebrities. In the UK alone gossip magazines Heat, Now and Closer each sell over 500,000 copies a week.
The reason is simple: we want to know about people’s lives.
We’re endlessly curious. Are they like us? Do they share the same concerns? How do they juggle a busy work life and a family? How did they lose 40 pounds in three months? Why are they moving home?
Some companies are great at personalising their marketing. Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty is a marketing master stroke: it makes ordinary women feel extraordinary.
You can even read all about them on the website. Sigrid saved her dad’s life one evening when he was choking in a restaurant. And Julie likes pizza.
It’s easy to weave people into copy, and it makes a big difference. It’s what Time Out did in their property special. They’re not listing houses – they’re listing homes, with all the mess and clutter that you’d expect. Plus real people, with real lives.
And that changes everything. Even in Hither Green.
- Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty: click here for more information (and to find out what Lindsey’s favourite colour is).
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