…and when is a quote not a quote?
It’s been a while since I let pictures take the place of words, so here we go again with Copycam.
It’s my occasional series on copy that’s caught my eye and addled my brain, captured with my trusty Nokia (still in my Top 40, by the way).
First up is this, which I saw at Marks & Spencer:
Found the mistake? Or should I say mistakes?
First the glaring one: the apostrophe.
It’s such a tiny little thing, but it causes endless confusion. The general rule is that it’s before the s if the word is singular, but after the s if it’s plural. So that gives us:
- The boy’s coat.
- The boys’ coats.
So far so good. The trouble arises when that boy grows up to become a man and is looking for something to wear in the evening.
Irregular plurals are treated just like the singular. So you get:
- The man’s coat.
- The men’s coats.
So hats off (evening hats, of course) to M&S for effort. They got the general rule right, but in this specific instance, it’s wrong. And what’s more, wrong in 600 stores up and down the land. Oops.
Still, at least they tried. Unlike Sainsbury’s, who opted for the maxim if in doubt, leave it out. This time, we’re talking 500 stores throughout the UK.
It’s only an apostrophe, you might say. Does it really matter?
Well yes and no.
The meaning is clear, but the mistake still niggles. Small things suggest bigger things: if organisations don’t care about apostrophes, what else flies under their radar?
It may not even be a conscious thought, but it affects people’s perceptions. And somebody somewhere will notice (especially here in Cambridge, where every other person you bump into has a PhD.)
It’s an image thing. It’s a brand thing. It’s an attention-to-detail thing.
And it’s something that’s worth getting right.
Speaking of which, what else is wrong with the M&S example? Well first, eveningwear isn’t one word – it’s two. Whoever wrote it was thrown off-track by menswear, which (a) is one word and (b) doesn’t have an apostrophe.
And the last thing that’s wrong isn’t related to grammar, spelling or punctuation. It’s the small print, which reads:
* Applies to products with mens’ eveningwear stickers only. Excludes cufflinks. Savings are applied to total price when items are purchased individually. Items in this promotion cannot be refunded or exchanged individually. All items must be refunded or exchanged together in order for a refund or exchange to be processed although you may be entitled to a refund on individual items in accordance with your legal rights.
Come again? Here’s what I got from this mumbo jumbo:
- You have to buy these items individually to qualify.
- But if you do, you can’t refund/exchange them.
- Even if you don’t qualify for a refund/exchange, you probably do under law.
Oh dear. I feel a little bit grubby after reading that. I think I’ll head for the gents (note: no apostrophe) to freshen up.
Don’t quote me on that
If apostrophes bamboozle us, then quotation marks (also known as inverted commas) are double trouble. And recently, they’ve been proliferating.
Again, the rule is simple. Quotation marks go around something that somebody actually said. It’s a quote (the clue’s in the name).
Here’s an example:
“Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.”
And another:
“I’m going to say this again: I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”
Easy, isn’t it?
And yet quotation marks are everywhere these days, often with entirely unintended consequences.
A couple of weeks ago, I saw this in the window of a shop in Cambridge:
Really? Who said that?
The answer, of course, is nobody. The quotation marks are being used for emphasis – which is not what they’re intended for. For emphasis, we have bold, underline, italic or a combination of all three. Plus CAPITALS, colours and fonts.
There’s no shortage of choice. Go ahead – knock yourself out. But save quotation marks for quotes.
It could have been worse.
Quotation marks are often used with sniper-like precision to home in on one particular word or phrase, which immediately makes you think of the opposite.
Now “open”!
So it’s not really open? It’s a joke? The door sticks? It’s not open when you think it is? It’s open but the entrance is elsewhere?
The possibilities are endless, but all undermine the intended meaning. And this insincere, does-it/doesn’t-it quote is everywhere nowadays. Somebody’s even set up a website called The Blog of Unnecessary Quotes.
Or to give it its proper title, The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotes. Hilarious examples include:
- We value “you” as our special patient
- “Deal” of the week
- “Wet” paint
- “Special” Mongolian beef $5.95
Check it out, and you’ll never, ever use quotation marks again without asking yourself whether you really need them. I “promise”.
The wheel of fortune
To add insult to injury, the bicycle shop was closed.
It was 3pm on a Thursday afternoon, but the lights were off and the door locked. I checked the opening hours, and they were indeed supposed to be open. But instead, they were “open” (i.e. closed).
Outside, several prospective customers peered into the gloom, saw the sign, and looked puzzled.
And went elsewhere, probably never to return.
Find out more:
- Say it like you mean it at The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotes.
- Possession obsession on the Apostrophe Abuse blog.
- Help is at hand: The Apostrophe Protection Society rides to the rescue.
Hi Kevin,
Thanks for the much needed post on apostrophes. It’s a good reminder. I’m glad, too, someone else gets niggled by misusage.
Maybe you can help me on an apostrophe stickler. I wrote a blog post titled Social Media Dos and Don’ts. A number of people have notified me I’ve included a grammatical error in my title. I’m being told it should read Social Media Do’s and Don’ts or Social Media Do’s and Don’t's. What are your thoughts on this? I’m stubbornly sticking to my guns and haven’t changed title.
Cheers,
Sarah
Hi Sarah,
In this case, I think there’s no clear answer, which is why people have such strong views.
I think the difficulty arises because don’t already has an apostrophe, so we like to balance things out – hence do’s. We have no such problem with ins and outs because there’s not an apostrophe in sight.
To me, Dos suggests a text-based operating system with a good old C prompt (ah, those were the days) so I’d steer clear of it. Don’t's just looks plain bizarre; can you think of any other word with two apostrophes? I can’t.
So on balance, I’d plump for Do’s and don’ts, simply because it appeals to my sense of order, and avoids any confusion when it comes to recognising the first word. For the same reason, I’d write dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s, simply because dotting the is makes the reader stumble (is what?).
But there’s no hard and fast rule. As Terence said quot homines tot sententiae – so many men, so many opinions. (And women, of course.)
He also said fortune favours the brave, so I’d stick to your guns if I were you!
Best wishes,
Kevin
Hi both,
I think when your blog title atracts more contention over its grammar, than what it’s actually saying, your best move is to change the title to something else.
I have to say I’m not a fan of the “Dos and don’ts” approach in general, as we see so much of it these days (with varied use of apostrophes), so it becomes invisible. Just Google Dos and Don’ts, and you’ll see what I mean.
Instead, I would suggest you come up with a new title, which is more informative about what your post is about: an encapsulation of the main point you are making. That way, your audience is more likely to read on, and you’ll probably eliminate any grammar debates in the process.
As for your original query, though, Sarah, I agree with your expression of Dos and Don’ts, simply because plurals should never be apostrophised. Allow the word Do’s through, and every grocer in the country will believe they were right all along.
Cheers and happy Cristmas to you both,
Jeremy
…and I of course meant Christmas with an ‘h’.