words that work
So it’s £15 for a small locker, and £20 for a large locker for one month.
A bit steep, you might think. But you’d probably also think they’d have an incentive to get people to sign up for longer. Like mobile phone contracts do – or just about any other type of contract you can think of.
So let’s see. 6 x £15, anyone? Oh yes, that would be £90. And 12 x £15? That’s right – £180.
Same story with the large lockers. 6 x £20 = £120. 12 x £20 = £240.
Genius. So the incentive is… absolutely nothing.
People expect commitment to translate into rewards. Why sign up for 12 months instead of six when the money could be earning interest in your account rather than the gym’s?
The pricing should be a no-brainer. But in this case, it’s just brainless.
Lesson 1: when it comes to pricing, longer is cheaper. Always. Or, put another way, 6 x £20 is never £120. It just isn’t.
Clever old Sports Direct.
So they’re still charging VAT at 17.5%? No, of course they aren’t. They’re charging 20% like everybody else and absorbing the difference.
Which makes a difference.
The store was packed with grateful shoppers who were getting a double whammy – reduced prices and reduced tax.
Lesson 2: feel the pain. Then the gain.
Isn’t that wonderful? A master-stroke of marketing.
Months of banging, drilling, cutting and scooping and they unveil a platform with the catchiest number ever. Everybody was talking about it.
Some people even took photos – well I did, together with a few trainspotting saddos with dirty anoraks and knobbly cable-knits. But still, you get the point.
It was new. It was news. It was inspired.
And yet it wasn’t always the plan. Originally, apparently, it was going to be called Platform Y.
Not so inspired. Y chromosome. Y-fronts. Why?
Obviously the planners asked themselves the same question, thought a bit about it, and came up with a simple, effective and… obvious solution.
Lesson 3: make a virtue of a necessity. And never ignore the obvious.
But they only just won. For hot on their heels, just 10 minutes later, I spotted this:
Bad, right?
Well not necessarily. You see, at this time of year, even clichés have their place. Let’s face it: Christmas and New Year are pretty clichéd, aren’t they?
Same food, same TV programmes, same diamond cardies and super toiletry gift-sets from your gran. Clitch after clitch after clitch, as Bevin famously said.
Original isn’t always best. After all, if your tagline is freshly minted, it has no recognition value. Clichés may be tired, old and worn, but they’re also instantly recognisable.
And often, they’re just what people expect to see. So don’t disappoint them.
Lesson 4: embrace your inner copycat. Even if that means a cliché or two.